Date 5/15/10
Ahoy!
So here we are pretty much in the dead center of the North Atlantic.
Clocks get moved ahead one hour again tonight so this will put us three
hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time as we slowly mutate to Europeans.
Students are now coming down several times a day asking for information about
Malaga. In this regard, all I have to rely on are the port guides I
brought so I am trying to cobble something together. Some important
phrases are of course necessary such as… “Necessito mas cerveca por
favor!” --> Please note that this is entirely facetious, and I, as a duly
designated civic officer of the State of New York would never provide this
in any written format to our impressionable cadets.
Anyway, with that being said, there are of course some *other* important
phrases which one would need to know in Spain, such as… “Donde esta el
bano? … Where is the bathroom?” and the ubiquitous “Como esta? How are
you?” Now of course, if you throw an ‘usted’ in there it makes it formal,
but I always heard Spain was a fairly informal place – so when exactly do
you use it and who came up with this interesting linguistic system?
Etymological quandaries aside, I found out today how cadets aboard the
“Empire State VI” are *punished*. Students who are bad gain demerits
that they have to work off, and if you do something dumb – like forget
your flashlight at a lifeboat drill – you get demerits. If you don’t
shave – fifteen demerits. Five demerits equal two hours of extra duty,
just to give you an idea. If you do something dumber, such as come back
to the ship so completely wasted that you have become fluent in a form of
drunken Spanish, you get many many more.
All cadets who are on shore leave are required to come back to the ship
every night while at port. The general sobriety test is that the officer
on watch sees if the cadet can make it up the gangplank without
assistance. If they do so, no problem. If they don’t… well off to the
sickbay for a breathalyzer test and then they won’t be allowed to leave
the ship for a couple of days. Those who are *really* bad… we are talking
about fights and creating a disgrace to the American merchant marine sort
of thing… well they are just sent home.
The demerit system as I see it is a form of indentured servitude for these
students. It is almost impossible *not* to get a demerit and when you are
on a ship and being inspected constantly, you will definitely get extra
demerits. This extra duty creates extra stress on the cadet, which
results in their letting off excessive steam while in port which results
in further demerits – so whichever pedagogical forefather came up with
this system was simply a *genius.*
In other ship news everybody seems to be in a much better mood since we
got out of the Bermuda Triangle of Sea Disease. Today, cadets were out on
the deck actually taking in some sun and tomorrow they are off of duty.
In fact, most everybody is off – except of course yours truly, just
because I am so dedicated to my job.
To celebrate this first Sunday at Sea I have expanded the movies to a
triple feature tomorrow night. Not only will I be showing the fabulous
Kill Bill movies, but we shall get things warmed up with Paul Blart: Mall
Cop starring that acclaimed thespian, Kevin James. As an aside – I picked
this movie just because it was a short one. I still, almost
masochistically want to watch it.
That’s all for tonight.
Fair Winds and Following Seas,
Joseph
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